Well it's not really happy, but it today does mark our 4 year anniversary of trying for our 3rd child. It is bittersweet, as my feelings flip flop back and forth on whether or not I want to be done trying. I am officially on my own, in respects to having a doctor helping me with fertility meds, etc. We have done all there is to do, within our means, finances and beliefs. I have all sorts of feelings about this and it depends on the time and day on what I am feeling at that moment. Today, it is somber and quiet but I have not shed any tears. I am trying to keep it that way and instead trying to refocus my energy. Instead of today being a sad day of reflecting on what I don't have, how about I focus on what I DO have. I have two gorgeous daughters and even though they stress me out like no other at times, they also bring unconditional JOY that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have a loving and understanding husband who has put up with far more of my shit that I would have ever tolerated. So even though I am not pregnant at this time or snuggling a newborn, I DO have positives in my life.
Thinking of you. I wish no one had anniversaries like this to celebrate. :(
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