Operation: Feel Better: Weeks 3 & 4

I am always a week behind in everything in life, so why not one more thing, right? Week 3 went well, another trip to Bath & Body Works for some shopping after a hair appointment with my teenage daughter. It was nice to get her out, do something nice for her (this was only her 2nd EVER professional hair cut, she was in hair heaven!) and spend money on ourselves. I bought more of the Energy aromatherapy line, this time a wallflower plug in, and got some AMAZING deals and freebies to boot!

Week 4 brought me some crazy mood swings, CRAZY mood swings. What am I saying? This last month has been one major mood swing! I decided enough was enough and I was done with this cycle. The longer I let it go on, the more mood swings I have to deal with. And when I say I, I actually mean my family. So for their sake since I love them so much, I decided to end this cycle with Prometrium I found in my TTC drawer. I decided I was going to bust out the big guns and take 400mgs for 5 days and call it good. Mainly because it is what I had on hand. I am on day 5 of 5, which means the wicked witch will be here tomorrow evening or sometime the next morning.

Plans for this next cycle? Since I did see and feel significant changes in my moods while on the Licorice Root supplement, I plan on continuing that when a new cycle starts. It is one that apparently I need to research more as it has me apprehensive about long term use. I have read that it is to be taken like Clomid for only 5 days of the cycle. My research shows that long term use can lead to blood pressure problems. I certainly don't need any of that! Although 5 days is just going to be enough to get my moods great, then drop them again? Am I going to be self inducing another massive mood swing? Guess we'll see!

Happy 4 Year Anniversary!!

Well it's not really happy, but it today does mark our 4 year anniversary of trying for our 3rd child. It is bittersweet, as my feelings flip flop back and forth on whether or not I want to be done trying. I am officially on my own, in respects to having a doctor helping me with fertility meds, etc. We have done all there is to do, within our means, finances and beliefs. I have all sorts of feelings about this and it depends on the time and day on what I am feeling at that moment. Today, it is somber and quiet but I have not shed any tears. I am trying to keep it that way and instead trying to refocus my energy. Instead of today being a sad day of reflecting on what I don't have, how about I focus on what I DO have. I have two gorgeous daughters and even though they stress me out like no other at times, they also bring unconditional JOY that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have a loving and understanding husband who has put up with far more of my shit that I would have ever tolerated. So even though I am not pregnant at this time or snuggling a newborn, I DO have positives in my life.

Operation: Feel Better: Week 2.....Rocked!!

We finally kicked the flu bug in our house, although it lasted far longer for Miss Emma then it did for me. Luckily for our family, that is as far as the flu bug traveled. I am extremely grateful for that! Mood wise I am still not seeing much changes, despite the weekly Vitamin D supplementing. I am having massive mood swings and if you were to see my temp chart, you would see how erratic my temps are, which is a clear indication of what the hormones are doing. Up and down, up and down. For the individual dealing with these severe swings, it is draining, and for the loved ones and people around said individuals dealing with these swings, again draining! Something has gotta change, NOW! So I am back on the hunt for something to mellow out my hormones so I don't feel like there is a monster inside me switching my mood every 20 minutes. One minute it is happy, then mad, then depressed, then back to happy, then to lovey, back to mad, then to needing a ton of affection/attention. My goodness, how can this NOT be exhausting?? 

My sanity reached a breaking point last weekend and for the sake of myself and everyone around me, I planned a "Mom's day of running away." I started off with a lunch date with a friend, whom I haven't seen or spent one-on-one time with in a long time! We went to our usual favorite restaurant and filled each other in on what we have missed over the months. It was great to have some adult conversation. Instead of going home after lunch I took myself to Barnes and Nobles for a mocha, by myself! I also took a few minutes to just browse books, something I would not have been able to do had I had my children with me. 

Next stop, Bath and Body Works! I had coupons and I LOVE everything about Bath and Body Works. It is like aroma sensory overload at times but scents have a calming affect on me. It was past time to soak up all the calming I can get. And that I did! It was very nice just being able to browse and sniff all there was to sniff without someone rushing me out the door or tugging on my britches to inform me that an emergency potty break is in order. I spent far more then I normally would have on myself, but if you add up all the years where I have neglected myself, I figured I was making up for lost time. I am in love with the Aromatherapy line and now have all they offer, with my favorite scent being Orange Ginger. Mmmmm, yummy. And when I find myself getting pissed at the world or needing a moment of escape a few spritz of that spray takes me there. 

Last but not least, a stop in at Victoria's Secret! Again I had coupons galore and had every intention on browsing and taking my time. I even approached a customer service gal for a bra fitting. Ahhhh! Anyone who knows me knows this is completely out of character for me as I tend to avoid ALL associates at all costs. Although, I felt like a princess when all the energy and attention was devoted to me, in finding the right size, right fit, and right style of bra. I can honestly say, that was a first ever experience for me. It was fantastic and I walked away again spending far more on myself then I normally would have, BUT I got 2 gorgeous and properly fitting bras, a free pair of panties and 2 mystery amount Gift Cards that I find out there value on the 1st. So what does that mean? Why another solo trip to Victoria's Secret, of course!!! 

What was the cherry on top for this week? Remember my friend Maria over at Life, Loss and Other Things and the OvaCue giveaway she was doing? Well guess who won one of the monitors? Yep, that would be ME!!! I am beyond stoked, but there are some bittersweet feelings that come with this win. Since I don't ovulate on my own, this monitor is only going to tell me what I already know, I don't ovulate. LOL I do have to say though, winning this monitor has now given me that small glimmer of hope and perseverance again. Since I am already on the search for something to help mellow my hormones, ovulation may just be a great potential side effect and having this monitor will show me far more then my thermometer ever could. 

Operation: Feel Better: Week 1.....Sucked!

This never fails. I set some new plans/goals for myself and something happens, usually LIFE, that sweeps those plans out from under my feet. This time it was a stomach bug. First Miss Emma, (my youngest daughter) came down with it, so all of my time went to mothering her and making sure she was well taken care of. Remember how I said exercising can be nixed with even the slightest of excuses? Well yep, this time was no different. And being that I was caring for a sick child, so did my massage and solo shopping spree plans. Then no sooner did she get on the mend, did I catch it. So, of course, NO working out was to be had when I called in sick to work, and spent a full day in bed, while recouping the next day. Week 2 HAS to go better, although hubby was complaining of an upset sour stomach just last night. I have a feeling this is not going to be the end of this stomach bug or the beginning of getting back on track to making myself feel better. Still gonna give it my all though.

Awesome OvaCue Giveaway!!!

There is a great giveaway going on over at Life, Loss, and Other Things and The Tater Twins where they are giving away not one but TWO Ovacue Fertility Monitors. This is an exciting little gadget in the trying to conceive world since it can be used by people with all conditions, including PCOS like myself and can technically be used for both trying or avoiding. They are doing a fantastic giveaway in which two winners will be picked. The cool part is when you enter the email address of who referred you, if YOU are picked as a winner, the person who refers you also wins one. How cool is that? So just enter LJEANH27@MSN.COM when prompted and get yourself entered! The entries are super easy and take about 5 minutes to do. Even if you are not interested you could always enter and help increase my chances of winning myself one. Thanks to all and good luck!

Direct link to giveaway:  http://lifelossandotherthings.blogspot.com/2012/03/giveaway-ovacue-fertility-monitor-with.html

Operation: Feel Better

Let me start off by saying I hate being in a funk, just simply hate it. My personality is usually bubbly, happy go lucky, you know the type you just wanna punch sometimes because they are TOO happy? Well that is NOT me these days. I find myself dragging during the day, not wanting to do things that I used to love to do and frankly just want to spend all of my time in bed. If only, right? I DO have two children after all that need their momma so that is not an option. It sure doesn't change how I feel though.

I decided enough is enough and it is time for a change. Not having a trying to conceive game plan anymore sure leaves a whole lot of time for thinking. And no, I'm not doing the dwelling on it, woe is me, type of thinking. These moments of thought usually result in great things. So even though my situation sucks and my journey of expanding our family is dwindling down and coming to and end, there WILL be positives coming from this.

First things first, this momma needs to start taking care of herself. For real! I have always heard A Happy Mom is a Happy Home. I'm starting to believe it so I plan on putting this to the test. So I am now focusing on ME and what makes ME happy. First plan of attack is to treat myself to one nice thing a week. It can be as simple as taking the time to paint my nails or reading a book that I enjoy, instead of a children's book. Or, taking my mocha outside in the morning and watching the sunrise in complete silence. 

The next thing I want to do is focus on my health and body. If I can't get pregnant I might as well get myself in the best tip top shape I can be and be the hottest momma in town. ;) I fell out of my very good work out groove I was in when I was forced to sit out from working out. Getting back into a consecutive daily routine has been tough and I can find the simplest of excuses to make myself NOT work out. So goal #2, work out DAILY, 7:20am sharp, no excuses. 

My next plan of attack in helping myself feel better is I am splurging on ME and only me. I am one of those people who puts myself last. If I get birthday money, it usually gets spent on somebody else, with the plan that I will replace that money and spend it on me. Nope, never happens. I am going to make it happen. As much of a coupon frugal freak I am, I am actually going to bite the bullet and go shopping for myself, at Victoria's Secret. There's no way I can buy for somebody else there! Ha. But no worries, I have my coupons for my free panties and coupons for money off bras, and I plan on using every one of them. ;)

Day 1 of Operation: Feel Better. Wake up at 4:30am (while the girls are still asleep) make myself a mocha, set up the foot soaker/massager with my new aromatherapy Lavender/Chamomile salts, (that I bought for myself yesterday while at the store!!) turn off all sounds and RELAX.

Day 1, done!